Abbey Singh the author of the book The Modern Singhs – the true story of a marriage of two cultures, along with her husband Money Singh are also YouTube sensation with a substantial number of followers worldwide, specifically more than half from India. The Singhs are also social media influencers, proud parents of two children – Noah, their first-born son, and Hazel, the newest family member, a two-month-old baby girl, they are the most loving children to their parents, and many more to add to their list.
Abbey and Money have their very own fairy tale love story, yes absolutely like the one from Bollywood, in New Zealand, which is their home. Both are migrants from India and United Kingdom, respectively. This book is a reflection through one’s personal life, it reads and says things that every migrant can relate easily, especially from an Indian and British perspective.
The book is a celebration of love, togetherness, families, and a blend of three cultures. It is nice to see the couple having to embrace themselves for who they are, and come out and talk openly about it, whether from their individual prospectus, cultures or living the reality.
While reading the book you are transported back to Punjab and Scotland, where throughout their respective stories both have kept it authentic and real. It shows that just like in their videos, Abbey and Money want to not only be vulnerable but extend their existing family through their subscribers and readers.
When you read along you instantly connect with them, and for once you immediately want to jump in the middle of the book where there is a collage of pictures, giving you a glimpse of the chapters, respectively. But it’s easy to figure out your main characters, you can point out the ‘Garbru’ handsome Munda (Punjabi word for boy) Money and the gorgeous Abbey, even though she complains about her pale skin, she cannot see from others eyes – an absolute beauty.
Money is invigorating to many boys, particular from the South Asian communities. He stands up for the love of his life, fights with the circumstances, breaks the old age norms of a particular culture (Indian in his case), yet does not let go off his culture and traditions, he respects his and Abbey’s parents, he breaks down, he cries, and he is understanding.
Abbey on the other hand is a fighter herself, even though she had a tough time with regards to her family and dealt with self-body image issues. Putting aside her makeup, she embraces her true self. Knowing the importance of mental health and wellbeing, she went on to complete her education with the subject she was passionate about – psychology. She went ahead and adopted Money’s culture with grace and valor, today being an integral part of his family.
They both met, fell for each other, and then came the next phase of challenges. Like they say in Indian culture that you do not just marry the boy, you marry the whole family, and for that Abbey had to embark on this journey which was not only different from hers but also a stressful one.
Initially, the end statement from Money’s father was that ‘this cannot happen.’ But they stood up for what they believed in and kept trying for the sake of love. Then the rest is history, but this made them go nuts every single time.
Post marriage the journey for these two kiwis was unique, in the sense that even if they shared the same land, the vast differences in their culture brought up loads of challenges for them. However, it was their wedding day video that was uploaded on YouTube, and that which changed their life.
We had the opportunity to talk to the couple and just like a breath of fresh air, the two were compatible at each stage, inseparable, sporty, took each compliment and criticism with an open heart. Here are few questions we asked them:
1. Firstly, congratulations for your book, after an extraordinarily successful YouTube channel, what inspired you both to write this book?
Money: Being very honest, we never once thought about drafting a book, but when HarperCollins approached us to write a book, we were star struck.
It would be crazy not to take up such a cool opportunity. We always talked about how cool it would be to have a book, but we never thought that it would be an actual thing, adds Abbey.
The writing part of course with not a single doubt in my mind was Abbey’s job says Money, but I had one serious job, which was writing the chapter titles, that too in Punjabi!
2. Rewinding back to your wedding video on YouTube, we understand it was particularly this one that went viral at that time. Did you know that this is what you want to keep doing?
Abbey: Not at all! Again, it was very unexpected that it even happened in the first place. And then just that one video went viral ‘Anand Karaj’ (as stated in the book, it was originally loaded by Money for his distanced relatives and friends to view his wedding) and then people started commenting that they wanted to see more of us. And again, we would have been crazy not to take up the opportunity that presented itself to us.
We started off with one video around the year 2019, we were working full time and just kind of tested the waters, and then once they started to do good, we were like we really needed to take advantage of this while it’s there.
3. You have a channel that is very family oriented and has friendly videos. Do you have any specific purpose in creating them?
Money: When we started Youtubing, we were getting down to knowing our basics, what kind of videos our view ship wants, what kind of content we should put out, etc. Later down the track we realized that being ourselves was getting the most attention, like we do not ever have to think about content.
And then later like we were getting messages – oh! Seeing your guys love marriage and how you are with your families made me want to be closer to my family, and messages like – my parents have also opened up to meeting the person that I really want to marry.
Receiving these messages made us understand how these videos are not only just showing our lives but are also helping others like to find love or get close to their families.
4. Abbey, you write in the book that you feel a real responsibility to show girls that it is ok to be who they are, tell us more about your process of self – empowerment and your message for all the girls out there.
Abbey: As a teenager I was really an insecure girl. I feel like even more in this day and age with Instagram filters, plastic surgery and girls making it seem like that is a natural way to look whether they have had work done or go online and see only happy moments of someone’s life, at the end you feel like that is the reality.
But as soon as I had Noah, I had to start embracing my new body, even though I got these comments about me getting bigger or how ugly I looked without makeup. And I did not let that get to me, it empowered me even more. My body has just created this beautiful little human, and I can only see this as the most beautiful, natural thing that can happen.
I gradually got comfortable in myself and stopped doing make up and caring much about it. Thereafter, I got messages on Instagram where ladies said that they really appreciate me showing the natural side and it has made me feel a bit better. So, then I decided to start showing the real myself. Love yourself, that is the best way to stay happy in life.
5. Money, your real-life story is an inspiration for many Indian origin guys out there for both standing up for the love of your life and taking families along. Your message for them?
Money: Growing up here in New Zealand I had that mentality that I don’t really want to be a part of my family but then Abbey like herself made me fight for her, just the way she is, and I am ever grateful for Abbey where she showed me the value of family. I am so glad that I did fight for her, because looking back, I do not know where my life would have been if I did not stand my grounds.
My parents everyday say to me honestly, we were wrong, we are so grateful you did what you did. And I say that if it is meant to be it’s going to happen nothing can ever stop it. But understand the value of your parents and why they are making that decision for you because the way they see life you do not see it.
It is important to respect your parents, you want to have a healthy relationship with your parents and your life-partner. If you get both it’s the biggest blessing that no money can buy, I will hate for anyone to lose their parents and gain their love life or vice versa. No one can ever do all the things parents do for their children.
The thought that I would ever hurt my mum gave me more pain than anything else, that one thing that kept me grounded to never give up on my parents. I am a total mamas boy.
6. How do your children & family members contribute to this success and are they comfortable letting their personal life be shown in public?
Abbey: Money’s family loves the camera; they all are extroverted. Whereas my family is a little shy and more reserved. They have pretty serious jobs and are in public, henceforth makes their job a little harder. But this does not stop them from seeing each other frequently. They contribute to honesty absolutely everything, without our family we would have been nothing.
Our kids mean the world to us. They get to see both cultures, both holidays and are learning so much.
7. The book is to be relatable to all the migrants here in New Zealand, can we know the availability of the book ‘The Modern Singhs’
Abbey & Money: The book is available in most New Zealand bookstores as it is officially released here by HarperCollins (30th March), also as an ebook on Amazon, Kindle, Apple books, Google playbook.
Also available in Amazon Australia, when you order, they ship it if you stay there. Available on Amazon UK coming July, will be available in Amazon USA in January 2023. We are also working with HarperCollins to get it to India as well, but that confirmation is yet to come.
The Modern Singhs is on all the social media channels namely YouTube, Facebook, Instagram, TikTok and Snapchat.
8. Lastly, your message for anyone who would want to read your book and why should they read it?
Abbey & Money: We have shared a lot of personal details in this book, even things that we do not talk about in the South Asia community like depression, mental health, etc.
Not only that but we acknowledge that we also have presence online, people think they know us, but people also need to know what goes behind the scenes. It was important for us to share our love story, and how it was not easy peasy, we had obstacles and how we overcame those.
Most of all for anyone else that does not believe in themselves and gets bogged down by their situations and circumstances, they derive some motivation by reading a real-life story. It’s like you kind of get that courage – this is how they did it, then anyone can find their own way of doing it.
But just do not give up!
The Modern Singhs by Abbey and Money Singh out now from HarperCollins www.harpercollins.co.nz
-Vritti Parasher
